To me the hardest part about self-promotion and social networking is that I write best when I have a “fuck the world” mentality. No surprise that in that state I’m not very approachable and I don’t care if anyone reads (or listens to) my work. I’m trying to learn how to turn the attitude off and on at will because I’m not sure I have the self-confidence to write well without it.
And I’m not sure that I want to. I think I come by this spirit honestly and it works for me. In fact, during my writing slump a few years back, I was meek. I worried about people judging me and liking my work. I let the world win. Now that I think it needs to go get fucked again, I’m far more productive.
Sure, I could just be an ass all the time, but the internet has enough of those, right? Is there a balance? Am I missing something?
it might help to think of the two as seperate. Writing is art, the inside and true person. Promotion is business, the polite game face. I am a different person at work than at home. I am a safety/environmental compliance officer, so I have to be kind of a dick at work. When I worry about people liking me, I can’t do my job. I am soooo introverted that I had a hard time telling people they were breaking the rules, I didn’t want them to get mad at me. I set up some rules to help me cope: I wear button-down shirts that I only wear at work, a watch, a pocketknife, carry a clipboard. A costume, I guess. I don’t talk to people at work about my personal life, and they think I’m a jerk. Eh, I’ve gotten over it. I’m acting a part, playing a role.
As a writer promoting your own work, you want to meet lots of people and it will be critical that you are polite and kind to every one of them, as I’m sure you’re well aware. It’s unfortunate and difficult but you have to do it, right? I find it tiring, too. You don’t have to be Promoter Dude while you’re writing though. Physically seperate the two events in some way and that might help with the emotional ties to promoting your own writing.
Ps. I’m a reader and not a writer, so all this may be bunk! =)
This would make a great panel for some con, by the way!
Good advice. Thanks.
I’ve always had trouble with worrying about whether people like me, which would probably surprise most of the people who know me. I keep it to myself well. I think.
I do need to find a way to physically separate the two states. Or some sort of cue. I envy folks with regular jobs, sometimes, who can wear a uniform or a badge. Or to just be at work or at home. I work at home, so I’m never away. And social networking uses the same tool, my laptop.
I have to use a pseudonym, and that has helped with introversion and separating my personal life from my writing. Hasn’t helped with the other, though.
Maybe I should wear a mask or a hat when I’m writing!
I left out that you cannot let go of whatever attitude and tricks you employ to be a good writer. It’s the business side that will have to change.